Life is full of change. I hate it! Lol. I don’t like change and I don’t embrace it as I should! I know it can bring beauty, but it also brings loss of relationships, weird seasons, and pain. I don’t know about you, but no thanks! However if I am being honest, this change is necessary. The loss of relationships- although at the time is such a huge blow and full of heavy loneliness… it is so NECESSARY. Friends, if you pray for God to bring you encouraging, Godly relationships, prepare for some of your current ones to take a step back. The Faith journey isn’t for everyone, and that is ok! You are still able to love them from a distance.
Loneliness is hard for me. My nature is loving and I love being around people. I don’t embrace quiet time. This is great on one hand, but on the other it puts strain on other people. I place them higher than they are. Meaning… I give them expectations only God can meet. And this is impossible and unfair. None of us can give the love God gives. I can’t expect people to give me that. I do believe God has put me in a season of loneliness to help me realize I put too much on people. I say too much and expect too much. I need to just bring it to Him and cling to Him. I am not perfect, I can’t expect anyone else to be. And even if I feel lonely, I am never alone. He is always with me… and that in itself is so beautiful.
Switching from a full time working mom to a stay at home mom was such a dream! And then I actually lived it and became so down and depressed. What is my purpose? Why am I here? I am never busy, almost all of my friends work, I am bored. But, I don’t want to change it because now I am used to not working. So let me be in my pit and stay miserable ok?! NO. The enemy got me so far down in my pit I didn’t even realize right now my purpose may just be to be a light. To get deep in my relationship with God and love others. To be the best wife and mother I can be. To take care of my family. And guess what friends? This is ok. This is a wonderful purpose to strive for. I do have things I want to do, and feel like I can do more. And I will. Little by little God is pulling me out of my pit. Not as quickly as I’d like, but if God skipped the journey for us, what would we learn? How could I help others if I have no idea how I got out?
If you are a stay at home mom, a working mom, or a career-driven woman…you have purpose. NEVER allow the enemy to take your drive. NEVER allow him to whisper lies about being worthless. NEVER think you don’t matter or you aren’t important. I wish I had someone in my life that had been here. I wish I had someone to truly sit down with me and dig deep into my depression. I wish people were more aware of mental health struggles. Depression and anxiety are difficult. You can not just leave your friends in their pit. You have to reach out to them and offer SOMETHING. We can not just sit by while our brothers and sisters suffer. Who does that? I had to dig deep. Reach out to God, read numerous books, and find a counselor to help me. What I wouldn’t have given for SOMEONE to just reach out to me and come over and say “hey, this isn’t right. something is going on, please talk to me.” This is why I am speaking out on here. If I can help in some way, that is why I started this blog. To let you know, you are not ALONE. Although I am not pit free, I have one hand out. I will be fully released soon. God never stops working. Please know how loved you are.